Edition #2: We are not taught we are alone

Each Saturday I send one operator one applied lesson on building a business that runs without you. Read time: ~7 min.

For 15 years, I built my career assuming the people closest to me would be my biggest champions.

My parents. My siblings. My wife. The people who knew me best, who watched me grind through 80-hour weeks, who saw the sacrifices. The ones I thought would cheer the loudest when I took bold steps forward.

I was wrong.

That realization nearly broke me before it rebuilt me.

Nobody tells you this about entrepreneurship: the isolation does not come from working alone in your home office. It comes from the slow, painful realization that even the people who love you most cannot always support the path you are on.

They care, but their care is filtered through their own fears and their own definition of security.

I hit this wall a few months ago during what should have been a casual family conversation. I was explaining the latest venture, the risks, the vision for scaling. I was soooo energized.

My energy was met with concern, not curiosity. Worry even.

"Why don't you just get a stable role at a good company?"

"Isn't this too risky with everything you have going on?"

"Maybe you should focus on securing what you already have."

They were right from their perspective. They were trying to help, and their help was filtered through a reality that does not apply to me anymore.

My siblings and I look at risk through completely different lenses.

For them, risk management is straightforward. Get a job and make sure it is a good one. With benefits, with a title. Stay there. Make sure to build seniority. That is security.

After 20 years in business, I have learned that is fake security. A 9-to-5 disappears the moment you are no longer convenient. A title means nothing when the company restructures. I have watched it happen to brilliant people who did everything "right" and were shown the door because a spreadsheet said so.

That is borrowed time dressed up as stability.

My version of security looks different. It is constantly bringing value which turns into pipeline. The constant work of networking, forecasting, building relationships. Multiple revenue streams. Systems that run whether I am in the office or not. Being so good at the work that opportunities find me.

I mitigate risk by doing more, by staying proactive, by refusing to stop learning.

Because this does not look like a traditional career, my family often tries to support me from their perspective, instead of mine. Most times, that "support" feels like being held back. What they really want is for me to pursue a path they understand, instead of the one I am building.

I have been reading a lot of Alex Hormozi, Steven Bartlett and Justin Welsh lately. They talk about the same thing in different words: the shrinking circle.

As you grow, you lose people.

Sometimes it is the gradual drift of busy lives. More often it is something quieter. Your evolution makes their comfort zone uncomfortable. Your ambition reminds them of dreams they parked. Your risk-taking highlights their fear of change.

I had been waiting for a standing ovation that only comes after the finish line.

When you are in the trenches, doubting yourself, burning through savings to fund a vision only you can see, you are often completely alone.

Then you break through. And suddenly everyone is there. Suddenly it all makes sense to them. And here is the kicker: they call it luck.

"Oh, you got lucky."

"Right place, right time."

"Must be nice."

They don't see the 852 one-on-ones I ran to rebuild a company culture. They don't see the five restructures, the nights I could not sleep because I was carrying the weight of people's livelihoods on my shoulders.

They see the result. They attribute it to chance.

Every operator I have spoken with hits a moment where they realize they are the only person truly betting on themselves.

Your spouse may support you emotionally, but they don't live in the trenches with you. Your parents want the best for you, but "best" is defined by their generation's playbook. Your friends cheer you on, then check out mentally when you bring up your business for the third time that month.

You become your own cheerleader. Your own motivational speaker. Your own accountability partner.

And it is lonely as hell.

I used to think this loneliness was a problem to solve. Find the right community or perhaps build a better support system.

The solitude is the work. It comes with the territory.

Here is what changed everything: I stopped expecting others to understand the vision.

I stopped waiting for my family to "get it." I stopped diluting the message to make it more palatable. I stopped needing validation from people who were not on the same path.

Something remarkable happened → I got faster.

When you accept that you are essentially alone in the endeavor, you stop waiting for permission. You stop second-guessing yourself based on other people's fears. You build differently. You build systems that do not require constant external support. You develop resilience that cannot be shaken by other people's doubts.

This is strategy, not cynicism.

Understanding that you are your own foundation raises your probability of success exponentially. When you know, truly know, that no one is coming to save you, you become anti-fragile.

Let me show what my version of security looks like in practice.

While my siblings focus on climbing corporate ladders, I focus on building four pipelines.

Relationship pipeline. Constantly meeting new people. Investing in existing relationships. Helping others without scoreboard. The network compounds.

Knowledge pipeline. Reading constantly. Taking courses. Working with mentors. Skills that are valuable today and skills that will be valuable in 10 years.

Revenue pipeline. Multiple income streams. Some active, some passive. The Mekanys consultancy, the operator OS work, advisory roles, content. Diversification by design.

Opportunity pipeline. Always one or two things forming. So when one ends, three new ones are already in motion.

This is active security. Earned security. Yes, it requires more work than showing up to a job every day. But it is work that compounds. It builds equity in me, instead of in someone else's company.

I won't pretend this realization came without cost.

I lost the comfort of thinking my family will always understand what I am doing. I lost the expectation that people will celebrate the work along the way, instead of only at the destination.

The people who raised me, who shaped me, who love me, may never fully support this version of me. They cannot see through my telescope.

Here is what I gained:

Radical self-reliance. I do not crumble when people doubt me anymore. Their doubt is noise, not data.

Clarity of vision. When you stop trying to make everyone understand, the path becomes crystal clear.

True confidence. The deep knowing that comes from proving to yourself, over and over, that you can do hard things.

Selective community. I found my people. Other entrepreneurs. Other builders. Other operators crazy enough to bet on themselves. The relationships are built on shared understanding, instead of shared history.

If you are reading this and nodding along, here is what I want you to know.

Do not be surprised when the people closest to you don't clap.

They are not the enemy. They are just not the audience.

Your parents wanted safety for you. Your siblings want familiarity. Your old friends want the version of you they remember. You want growth.

Growth requires leaving comfort zones, including other people's comfort zones about who you are supposed to be.

Keep building the pipeline.

Don't wait for permission. Don't wait for the perfect moment when everyone in your life finally "gets it." They won't. That is okay.

Keep betting on yourself.

The solitude is a sign that you are leading. Leaders step into uncertainty because they see something others don't. And yes, they often step alone.

The more comfortable you become walking alone, the more people eventually want to walk with you.

The right people. The ones who choose you because of where you are going, instead of despite it.

Your tribe is ahead of you, waiting for you to arrive.

I still have family dinners. I still maintain those relationships. I have stopped expecting them to be my cheerleaders for the work.

I found community in other builders. In mentors who walked this path. In fellow operators who understand the language of risk and reward.

My parents may never fully understand what I do. My siblings may always see this path as unnecessarily risky. My old friends may always wonder why I cannot just "relax and enjoy life."

That is their prerogative. I am relaxing and I am enjoying life. Just on my own terms.

If you are nodding along reading this, here is the one I want to leave you with:

Who in your life have you been quietly waiting to "get it" before you go all in on the work you are doing?

Reply to this email and tell me. I read every reply. The answer goes nowhere except my inbox.

You are not alone in being alone. There is a whole community of us out here, building in the shadows, betting on ourselves, walking paths that make no sense to the people who knew us before.

When you finally break through, when your "overnight success" that took a decade arrives, we will be the ones who know it was not luck.

It was pipeline. It was persistence. It was the willingness to stand alone when everyone else sat down.

Keep going. Keep building. Keep betting on yourself.

The solitude does not last forever. The strength you build in it is permanent.

Iulian

♻️ If this resonated, forward it to one operator who needs to read it.

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P.S. The Future-State Audit is open to a founding cohort of 5 operators of $3M to $30M B2B companies. Details at iulianchiriac.com/audit if you are curious. No pressure. Back to your weekend.